nothing matters

seems like sadness are here to stay... not onli stay they bot along their family and frens too... can they all come now since things are already so sucky already... nothing else matters to me now... will happiness appear once they are all gone??? hmmmm...... or will happiness ever appear???

Moody Sun

Since grandpa is not going for the op last nite, after visiting hrs had ended i ask steven out for dinner.. Bern ask me if we r going to drink... Feeling very sad and sianz dun really wan to go hm so early therefore told him to meet for drinks later... Good Gal noe wat happen and ask me y no stay in hospital and wanna come down later.. Told her i very sad later den tell her wat happen.. Call vincent and italy and they said will be there later after they r free... After dinner steven and cynthia went down wif me... If not for wat happen they wun stay til so late wif me ba cos they dun drink and wanna slp early... Haiz me, bern , vincent and italy really drunk a lot... is madness man... i noe drinking doesn't help is just the company i have wif me... somehow makes me feel better... Last time whenever we had family dinner, Grandpa will always tell me fridge got beer go take...

Today Grandpa looks better and can tok already... When he saw me he shake his head say y waste transport money come c him... dunno how to tok to him also... decided to bring him hm since Grandma already keep asking how come he so long still not back... also doc like cannot do much already so quite no point to stay... when he noe can go hm already totally cannot wait to change... straight away wanna come out of bed.. Seeing him like this somehow makes me feel better a bit.. But he said something really make me very sad.. He said the faster he go the better it is... wun create so much trouble for us... Haiz really very sad whenever i think of him leaving us... Now is onli a matter of time... Hope tat he will be happy, enjoying and do the things he like for the remaining period.....

Grandpa @ 92...

It all started in sat when my uncle called me... He stored my HP as my mum's no so I pass to my mum the call.. When their conversation ended i ask my mum wat happen.. She told me grandpa was admitted to the hospital and it seems the doc say he need to undergo operation.. But given his age he may not be able to make it and if he dun undergo op, his life is also in danger~!!! My mum seems to be quite calm when she told me and she say my sis are also on their way to the hospital but she wun be going... After thinking for awhile i decided to go to the hospital too so went to ask my mum if she wan to go along... Found her in the kitchen cooking dinner so i told her no need to cook mine i eat outside and ask if she wan to go... I den realise she was crying already~!!! I hold her hand ask her not to cry and dun cook we go hospital together... Really dunno wat else to say or do and I felt so lost~!!! Xiao Mei went out early in the morn so she shld be dunno wat happen also therefore i called her ask her if she wanna come hm and go hospital together...

When we reached there my sis they all were crying also~!!!! ARAG i went over to c grandpa and he still recognise me and call me... Seeing him shrink til so thin really breaks my heart... The doc was already toking halfway when i went over and he told us to decide by 7pm if grandpa wanna go for the op.. He may go tn if undergo the op but if dun go for op, he may onli have 2wk to a mth left.. Tears already began to form... I was really very sad and lost... Initially we decided to take the risk and go for the op but when the doc came we found out tat even if the op is successful, he may onli have 3-6mths left~!!! WTF~!!!! not even a year~!!! Den wat for go for op and let him suffer even further~!!! After op cfm goto go ICU, put on drip and lotsa needles poking through... even if can recover within a mth still goto lie on bed... how much is left after all this?? Grandpa never wan to go hospital not to even say undergo operation.. Therefore we decide to respect his decision and leave things as it is... How much longer he can be wif us I really dunno..

Wrong Move..???

It all started on wed when The Woman msn me ask me go citilink wif her to collect her things... But I already promise Good Gal to help her setup her laptop so i told The Woman i got things on already... i went hm 1st to settle some stuff and she saw me online... she say tot i going out and i told her yah im waiting for my fren to fetch me... she didn't go collect her things too... thur she ask me again i told her im very tired wan go hm slp early.. it's the truth i really no plan to go out wan go hm slp and she say nvm den... last nite she sms ask me free today anot.. like not very nice to keep rejecting so i told her ok to meet.. But now i feeling very tired again~!!!! hahahha can i go hm slp instead??? Haiz so bored Gal-Next-Door and Gucci Siao all on half day leave.. Left my mum and Bian Bian Lian... not much ppl for me to disturb time crawlsssssss................

Something New...

Yest was having dinner wif Good Gal... She full already so stop eating ask me finish up the rest den she took out a story book to read~!!! I was so amazed esp when i saw the title... is some real life sad story so i ask her she got read such books one ar... Found out tat she read books on those slavery and abuse and how they escape all tat... WOW~!!!! Never would have tot tat she got interest in such things... Hmmm.........

Surprise.. ???

Last sat Good Gal told me this coming wed will give me a surprise.... wait and wait and wait for the day to come... Last nite she say goto delay til sat cos maybe cannot make it today to meet me... Tot goto wait for a few more days but this morn she suddenly msg me say meet me today... la la la la la dunno wat surprise for me... so excited... 2more hrs to go b4 meeting her~!!! YEA~!!!!

Ade

Yest morn receive an sms from Ade... she say she is out for meeting can meet me for lunch... hahah super long no c her liao den she say come my area eat... c her sure happy esp when she start to speak chinese... hahah though she always say she got A for her chinese, the way she speak got an ABC slang... so funny... cannot stop laughing when she start toking in chinese so i tell her we better switch back to english...

She was telling me she wan to go oversea b4 her sch start again.. wanna relax and enjoy a bit but dunno where to go... Her bro will be at japan for work so she was thinking to go wif him den can save on lodging... As usual, she likes to suan ppl so she tell me there got a lot of those temples to pray... she will write one note hope I will be fatter than her~!!!! kaoz... thanx leh~!!!! still give me the wth look and say i look so 2D~!!! AAARRRAAAAGGGGGGGG........

Reservist

The once in a year thingy is here again.. This year will be the last low key... last 1 wk... haiz 1 wk of lousy food... no freedom... totally sianz man.. my fren still can tell me good wat go in save money on meals... yea i force myself to eat the lousy food cos im really damn hungry and i dun wan to spend money on canteen... time really hard to pass inside... nothing much to do at nite except slp but not used to the high pillow and was always hungry at nite... sleepless nitez... lucky Good Gal got sms me still not tat bad...

This year i manage to clear my IPPT~!!! Achievement man never expect it... Was running like mad and forcing myself to go on during the 2.4km run.. After completing everything I vomit liao... feel so much better after vomitting.. hahha slack for too long already... Those who clear can have nites off but most of my kaki no go out so quite no point also.. End up nua wif them in camp... This year was really quite slack staying overnite in the forest.. no mosquitoes... Next year gonna be bad.. haiz...