I thought...

i told myself this wk im not gonna drink anymore.. but den... end up drinking again... kaoz... time to really CUT down liao~!!!

We are 27 this year...

haha yea yea Ade unintentionally said this during dinner... den she realise my happy expression and knew something was wrong... so she told me tat a few yrs back she wun mind being associated wif someone who is 2 yrs older den her to be the same age... but now she wun wan to be associated as the same age wif someone who is gonna be 30~!!! SHIT DE~!!! ARAGGGG....

Inception

Someone is trying to plant an idea in my mind... An idea so deep, so strong tat the idea will grow in my mind... One moment im drinking wif my frens, next moment im in the cab and the final moment im awake in my bed... How do I get from moments to moments???

When I was awake im still having a very heavy martell breath... Took a look at my hp and realise I help Vincent to take pic at 1am which I totally dun rem~!!! And I took pic wif Good Gal at 215am which I dunno also~!!! Beginning to panic I quickly check my sms... but there were none... I rem we were drinking b4 tat... but... What happen between 1 to 2??? After tat I rem i was in cab otw hm... ohh yah how much was the cab fare??!!! when i was home wad happen??? I did changed my clothes and put my socks to wash, took off my lens, jacket into the cupboard, wallets on the table... but all this i got no memory at all~!!!

Have I really awaken??? Or were those pictures and heavy breath jux another idea....

除了你

我什么也没有看见。。。

Said too early

Yea i was still telling Bian Bian Lian this week im not gonna drink... Den italy sms me at 930 tell me Good Gal is there ask me go down... -.-''' im home already and watching tv til 11 so i told him im not coming ba... den he reply can come after tat mah... hahah norm he will reply so much means wan me go... plus he is wif Timon and Don... both also no drink wif them b4... since quite long no drink wif him liao so i tell him ok... Was walking to interchange and feeling so tired... so i told myself which lucky cab pass by i will board... wow really got cab came and he was entertaining me otw... 1st thing he ask after asking wan go where is... “去喝酒啊？”

When im walking in to find them, Eunice call me liao... hahah she's my halal fren... still rem she asked me to drink and i told her i cannot drink cos im halal de... den she started crapping wif me as well say she also is... so we became halal fren le.. we sure asked each other if we pray already anot.. if not cannot start to drink and all the crap...

Anw went inside and found them near the end... hhaha as usual i tell italy i wan sit inside cos i dun wan to entertain other ppl... Jux sit down rest awhile nia they start asking me to drink liao.. 1st time drink wif them nia need so fierce mah... hahah but im thirsty so i drink green tea warm up 1st... after tat started to drink slowly liao... like getting a bit bored liao so i think is time to start drinking le... ask timon drink liao den ask don drink... sianz haven digest my drink den my halal fren came over and ask me drink again~!!! ok lah also long time no c her liao no reason to reject so crap awhile and drink wif her le... Played some games, rested awhile cos no lose the game, den decided is time to whack them le~!!! I was busy pouring drinks to ask them drink again den italy suddenly stand up... a familiar voice came and i turn over Good Gal take over italy seat le...

We chatted awhile... drink a bit bit... den play game... yup last time play game always lose to her de... my 5-10 not bad but her 5-10 also good de... bo bian still choose 5-10... haiz shit de lose more den win... drink more den c her drink... cannot take it liao after consec few cups... so tell her i owe her 1 cup and go toilet 1st... was thinking y i still lose so much sia a bit not rite leh... reflect awhile den go back for revenge~!!! haaha again she ask me to choose my best game... 5-10 lor.... she ask me sure anot... she's my jinx leh... so started to play again.. wow reflection works~!!! this time im winning le and she keep losing... hahahh so i tell her toilet got mirror ask her go there practice 1st den come back... haiz everytime she start lose more she will start to pour more revenge liao.. c she pour so much martel... dun wan her to drink so much also so i tell her half half when she lost again... she stared at me... “真的吗这杯很厚！” wah really power sia~!!! more den half is martel ba like no green tea taste de~!!! she lose a few more rounds and i drink all half wif her... really cannot liao dun wan to get drunk so i tell her... “这次我输，我喝。你输，我们拍照” she look at me again and say ok lor we also long time no take pic liao... SHIT DE~!!! she said tat make me think yah lor we really long time no take pic liao... started to feel gan cheong liao~!!! will win anot??!!!! 10... 15... 5.....

hahah i won again~!!! someone help to take this pic den she c le say not nice she take herself...

hmm this pic reminds me of something... something tat.............. anw... she is no longer my jinx le?? until my next jinx appear....

无敌是寂寞的！！！

My Father

3 weeks ago... He asked y i didn't drink his wine... I wasn't feeling well so didn't drink...

2 weeks ago... He asked y i so crazy drink so much... hmm the mood was there and to make up for last week??? Anw i dun think i drink a lot leh... lucky he never see how I drink outside...

Yesterday... He told my mum 1 bottle he can last for 1week... I 1 night finish it le.... hahah i tot he buy more for me to drink???

Well i was still having flu before I started drinking... but after drinking... Amazingly my flu is gone~!!! No wonder whenever I tell my drinking kakis Im not feeling well dun wan to drink so much, they will tell me cos I no drink enough tat's y not feeling well... NBZ~!!!

Drunk?

I cried not cos lm drunk.. cos lm really feeling very upset.. I can no longer convince myself..

Am I stupid or wad??!!!

Yea Im not onli stupid... but im also fcuking dumb~!!!!

To think tat I still tot it is my fault....

What a fool I have been...

Weekend Companion

Jux wanna be alone, drinking and reminisce... dunno when it started and for how many wkends already... it has been part of my life already...

SMS

Dun wanna wake up so early and has been nuaing in bed for quite some time le... suddenly i miss the times when her sms woke me up... thinking and thinking til i doze off again... a familiar ringtone rings... is my hp sms... but... is not from her... and it will never be her again... time to wake up le...

Middle of the nite..

Purposely went to slp early.. So damn tired and dun wan to think anymore.. But y muz l be awake after a weird dream?!! Tosing around for hrs le simply cun get to slp.. Think and think also dunno think for wad shit!! WHO AM I??? I AM JUX NOTHING!!! THE MORE I THINK AND KNOW, I JUX FEEL WORST!!! I can onli be angry wif myself.. Y am I still so affected by it.. Is this my limit le?? Haiz how much more can I take??

only lonely

A very old song of S.H.E and has been following me all this while.. Has been thinking a lot lately.. Wad do I really wan?? Who will be there for me?? Happy moment jux dun last.. Alone, drinking, missing..

Feeling lost

Things used to be within my control... But now things are beyond my control... haiz the feeling simply sux... but wad can i do..??? or did i choose to do nothing..???

Excessive???

IM NOT EXCESSIVE DRINKER~!!! After reading this guide i finally can conclude tat IM UNDER CONTROL~!!! started to drink a bit again... still cannot decide wad i shld do... the dark mood is back... but as usual, y izzit the more i drink the more unhappy i gets??? haiz.... think cos i haven drink enough yet... if I finish this will my father faint or will he jux open another bottle??? hmm...

Lousy week

Had a very tired, moody and unhappy week... Dunno y it jux seems to happen every day now... Really makes me wonder izzit my prob... so i told myself no matter wad i will not be moody or unhappy today... but the biggest impact actually came today~!!! There are so many questions, so many why in me... Maybe i shld jux accept the fact... though i really feel very sad abt it, think i shld really try to change...

你死定了！！！

hahahah i like it when she say this line... somehow it reminds me of something.. wad actually is it i dun really noe... but is something sweet tat lies in my heart... hmm wad is the thing tat this line is triggering???

为设么要望记一个人会这么难？上天为设么要这样折磨我？

就算全世界的人反对我们，我也要跟你在一起。。。

不是我不想拥有，是我不能。。。

放弃我。。。

These are some of the sentences tat bring tots and memories to me... has been some time since a show can affect me tat much... and it reminds me of something... something which last time i always thought of but never do... 把回忆埋葬... going back to places and reminisces of the happy moments... after which i will forget abt tat person... hahaha but it seems to be like wad i tot.. i will not forget... instead i will jux miss tat person more... 我好想你喔!!! tmr mux find more pictures of Cheng Lin's image in this show... it really reminds me of someone!!!!

海派甜心

My Cheng Lin is so so so cool, cute and chio in this show~!!!! hahahh wanted to watch this show cos of her... Never expect tat it will bring me so much thoughts... hmm think Gal Next Door noe i very long no drink le tat's y lend me this show... Got one scene of her drinking and she said this:

“喝就可以望记很多事情。。。不开心的事情。。。”

It seems to be so lately... My purpose of drinking is no longer to chill anymore... Either getting ppl drunk or i get drunk myself... But den... the more i drink the more unhappy i gets... hahaha onli when others get drunk im happier... izzit cos they give me entertainment??? or did they divert my attention when they r drunk... anw i like this sentence very much... Show said this to my Cheng Lin:

“我喜欢你，你明明不是我心目中喜欢那样的女生，可是。。。我就是喜欢你！”

Wow!!!! Dunno y when i first hear this sentence i will think of tat someone... tat someone whom i never tot i will like..??? or cos is like in the show... i wanted to care for tat someone.. worry abt tat someone... like to be beaten by tat someone... like tat someone to be drunk so tat i can take care of her... hahaha anw it's jux a show....

well time to scold Gal Next Door le... hahahha COS UR STUPID SHOW KISS MY CHENG LIN!!!! ARAGGG ANGRY~!!!! 你祖母我不高兴！！！ cun wait to c the ending!!!! but den.... SO FAST 530AM ALREADY~!!! AND IS SUNDAY~!!! SHIT time to catch some rest.... will i have time left to dream of tat someone tn???

我怀念的

现在。。。

也只能怀念。。。

心已不在。。。

做什么也没有用了。。。

心有曾逗留过吗？？？

难道一切只是一场美梦？？？

那为何我得醒来？？？

为何不能让我一直梦下去？？？

虽然还是放不下。。。

但至少还有美丽的回忆。。。

唯一能做的。。。

也就只是怀念了。。。

想问为什么

我不再是你的快乐

可是为什么

却苦笑说我都懂

自尊常常将人拖着

把爱都走曲折

假装了解是怕

真相太赤裸裸

狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的 是无话不说

我怀念的 是一起作梦

我怀念的 是争吵以后

还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日

也记得那一首歌

记得那片星空

最紧的右手

最暖的胸口

谁 忘了

我怀念的 是无言感动

我怀念的 是绝对炽热

我怀念的 是你很激动

求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后

也记得我颤抖着

记得感觉汹涌

最美的烟火

最长的相拥

谁爱得太自由

谁过头太远了

谁要走我的心

谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走

谁忘了看着我

谁让爱变沉重

谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的

我还有想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日

也记得那一首歌

记得那片星空

最紧的右手

最暖的胸口

我放手

我让座

假洒脱

谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了

所以我

没有哭

没有说

Stoopig Ade

Whenever im online during wkdays, she will ask me "R u on leave again?" so today i yawnz at her first b4 she asked me this... To my surprise she told me she tot of me this morn cos there's a guy in the meeting tat LOOKS like me, TALK like me and ACT like me~!!! jux tat not as skinny as i am... idiot de... hahha anw her next statement is still asking if im on leave... so i told her im on 2 days mc den she began scolding me again...

Ade was saying this yr was bad for her zodiac so i told her this yr suppose to be good for mine but it seems not leh... nbz she tot im monkey!!! try to explain she not good in such things but noe im scorpio... hahaha start to say scorpio are the worst horoscope... most vicious, most cunning etc... lucky when i asked her if she feels im like tat she says im not... so i told her im a disgrace to scorpio... 妈的 she said scorpio is the most romantic no wonder i felt tat im a disgrace... hahah im romantic de leh... anw super long no c her liao so next wk shld be meeting her for dinner... This is the last time we met took de... she keeping long hair again tat time... wonder now is longer, shorter or still the same...

hmm background too bright le cannot c clearly... take again next time~!!!

Running Away???

Dun feel like waking up at all... Keep on lying in bed and dozing off... If not my hp ring think i can slp all the way til late... A pity the sms is not wad im waiting for... If onli... Haiz cannot drink now onli thing i can do is to keep slping... At least in my dreams, im happier...

1 more long and boring week to go

Wow wad a long and tiring week... Lousy food, lousy things to do, lousy weather... In short everything jux sux... Yea i admit i jux dun like this kind of life... No tv, no newspaper, no freedom... Still goto do the stupid medical IV DRIP~!!! sux man goto poke and ganna poke... Haiz i choose to be the casualty 1st and the first one was smooth not much blood came out... When my turn to poke, the casualty got SO MUCH BLOOD~!!! shit man i haven even release the needle out his blood already start dripping~!!! Tot they said it wun drop when the stupid needle is still inside???!!!! so i quickly get ready the connector and took out the needle... Shit man when the needle is out his blood jux spurt out~!!! quickly connect the tube den he stop bleeding... After finishing and taping all the tubes, it's time to undo~!!! kaoz when i took out the tube his blood start flowing out again~!!! quickly press on the wound and give him plastic to stop the blood from flowing out...

Vincent is so damn lucky~!!! whole of 2 platoon he is the chosen one to take the test for medic~!!! Whole day he has been poking ppl and still not very confident... think he poke more den 15+ hands~!!! hahaha italy also volunteer both hands for him... one miss one kill... After dinner he is still trying but already no hands left... so i volunteer my other hand for him... the key is to find the vein so if miss goto try turn here and there to find the vein~!! OUCH~!!! lucky im skinny and my vein is very visible but SHIT HIM~!!! he wan to choose the top vein on top of my hand.. siao sia tat one sure super pain~!!! so i REMIND him again to choose the other one... it was a hit~!!! so carry on to remove the needle... but b4 removing goto press on hard on the hand so tat the blood wun spurt out when the needle is out... BUT SHIT HIM again he press on the needle initially~!!! kaoz can feel the pain sia~!!! lucky the medic told him to press further on top he is pressing on the needle... After taping and everything, the medic told him ok can remove liao... hahah im worried again cos when he is doing i can feel he is very tired hands shaking already... but ok lah he is careful in removing the tape den come to the last part, the removing of the plastic still inside my vein... I tot he noe will slowly take out... BUT HE JUX PULL OUT VERY FAST~!!! wah lau i can feel it coming out sia den my blood also spurt out~!!! first time i c so much of my blood sia~!!! the rest quickly pass me the medic swap to press on so tat blood wun come out further... hahahaah i told vincent next time beer on him~!!!!

Fri was quite a slack day as onli those being tested need to go... super big rain in the morn so they indent another vehicle therefore i need not go~!!! wow best sia go back rest.. lunch was packed and it was the same as last fri~!!! sianz hard chix, weird potatoe wedges and dried peas... dun believe??? TAKE A LOOK AT THIS~!!!

ohh i forget to mention the not cut tomatoe~!!! so big and looks hard how to eat sia.. haiz 5 more SUPER BORING AND LOUSY DAYS TO GO~!!!! Not to mention i no slp well at nite too... keep on waking up and realise time is passing so so so damn sloowww.......

Last nite i dreamt of her again~!!! she was telling me she's not going hm for dinner... so i was waiting for her to ask if im free to eat wif her... but she no ask... den suddenly she was buying dinner already and duno telling me wad... stupid alarm rings at this timing~!!! time to wake up for stupid cohesive training... sat morn goto wake up so early damn sianz... lately my hp always wake me up at the wrong timing... hmm wad was she saying..????

Boring days are coming...

Yea it's been quite some time since i ate such lousy food again... Last fri was jux the starting~!!! Really cannot imagine how can they maintain such GOOD standard for so many many years... The fried chix is still as hard, potatoe wedges still as weird tasting... Onli edible food are the soup and fruits~!!! Haiz life gonna sux for these 2 wks le....

Kind Souls Do EXISTS~!!!

Was raining super heavily this morn... Already prepared finish so decides to go to the usual place to wait for the rain to get smaller den run over... Sianz sia as I was walking towards there the rain jux gets bigger and bigger... Was thinking maybe Heaven is telling me to forget it and go hm cont slp... When I reach the place i was dazing at the big downpour... No matter how fast I run, by the time I reached the other side cfm is all drenched le... Suddenly... A nice and kind lady walking towards saw me and say I lend u the extra umbrella to go over~!!! I WAS SO SHOCK AND STUN~!!! So i cfm wif her "我要去library那边ar"... she reply me yah i go over wif u den come back~!!! WOW~!!! KIND SOULS REALLY DO EXISTS~!!! hahaha... think is jux tat whether u r kind enough to be able to meet another one... la la la...